5 Tips To Discourage Underage Dating

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The most challenging aspect of raising girls is the parental fear of keeping boys far away from their angels at least at the early stage of their life. While so many tactics have worked well for so many parents, some are not so lucky. Nothing breaks a heart of a parent more than seeing their little princess go through a heartbreak, teenage pregnancy, become a drug addict or alcoholic or even contact deadly diseases.  Some even lose their lives in the process of getting rid of unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. Can all these be avoided?  Stick around a while.

My 7-year-old daughter was told by her classmate that he loves her and this young guy did all he could to woo her, by being extremely nice to her, attempts to carry her backpack and generally became an unpaid bodyguard, all in third grade! As if that is not bad enough, my friend’s five-year-old daughter said her friends keep asking her why she doesn’t have a boyfriend in their kindergarten class, the second week of resumption.

While these cannot be avoided because you cannot control the way other kids are being raised, we can only control the way we raise our own children, most especially our girls. The important issue here is that these kids as young as they are, have been exposed to a lot of things beyond their age and maturity either through what they have seen or watched, heard and made to do and they are ready to share their knowledge or experience willingly with naïve and unsuspecting others. What can we do to help our girls as parents?

 

PRAYERS

 

I know many parents are already in on praying for their children and are probably saying while reading this, obviously. But I’m talking about specific prayers here.

General prayers are good but specific prayers are more effective Click To Tweetand for me the best. For instance, Father Lord I commit my daughter’s heart into your hands.  Please direct her aright and other her feet and hearts to choosing good and valuable friends. Keep evil and bad friends far away from her and at the right time choose the man after your own heart for to spend the rest of her life with. Amen. Keynote here is to be specific about what you want God to do in your daughter life. Also, choose days when you pray together with them one on one. Prayers of an agreement are very beautiful.

 

SEX TALK

 

Sit your children down and talk to them about their sexuality and how people can take undue advantage of them. Go into details depending on their age. Tell them what it means to have a special boyfriend amidst all other friends in class or elsewhere. If we fail to tell our Girls and other siblings about their sexuality or what is expected of them, then they will be informed by their ever willing over exposed peers and then it may be too late for them to undo the bad things they have learned. So fathers and mothers look for proper ways to keep them informed. Gone are those days when we shield our children from all of this information and rely on other means like the church to talk to them. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, we should also play our part by being the first voice they hear on sensitive topics like this. Choose the age you think proper for dating and guide them so. Dating is good when done at the right time. Your girl will also have feelings for the opposite sex from time to time but it shouldn’t be confused with love. Teach your girls about virginity and what it means to keep theirs. I love to paint and show the scenario of a beautiful flower which is very appealing and treasured by all when it is still new, fresh and intact but becomes very repulsive and disgusting when squashed or trampled on. Nobody wants the flower again at that time even though it’s still called a flower. They love the short scenario and always show their displeasure of the squashed flower. Some parents use other symbolic items to drive home their point too. I’ve read about using a tie and charmed bracelet. There are different types of the analogy used by parents to keep their daughters on track. Answer their inquisitive questions as honestly as you can and avoid being panicky when they open up to you so that they keep coming back to you for advice.

 

 

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UNDUE EXPOSURE TO MEDIA

 

Be mindful of what your girls watch or are exposed to. Put restrictions on what they watch and activate a parental control to their access to various types of media sources. Our home standard to media is God. Ensure all they are watching now is helping them morally or spiritually. Be very careful about what their mind is feeding on. Even books fall into this category. Nearly all the books available for my first daughters’ age bracket mentions an issue or the other about having a boyfriend, but because I have explained to her the difference between having both girls and boys as friends as opposed to having one special boyfriend, she is quick to show me when she comes across such. So we discuss more in the context where it’s used in the book.

 

MODEL GOOD BEHAVIOUR

 

They are fast learners, especially at what you are unwilling to teach them, so be very careful to model the best behaviour you would love to see in them. Keep your intimate relationship and public display of intimacy private. Before you sneeze, they have picked one or two lessons, then they look for who to experiment with. Be your daughters best role model.

 

SELF-SUFFICIENCY

 

Most girls run into problems such as these because they are not confident in themselves and are not self-sufficient. They hero-worship their friends and want to play the “I belong” game. We need to build them up in such a way that whatever they believe in is unwavering no matter what. Easily influenced girls will struggle to be their best in everything they do.

 

 

 

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I hope these helps in raising godly, confident and fabulous girls. Tell us your take in the comment section below.

xoxo

Written by Bola

I'm a sold out lover of God, wife, mother and I'm passionate about women/girls and all we stand for.

6 Comments

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  2. I think there has to be a balance. For example, I think it’s good for my children to see that my husband and I love each other. So we do kiss (modestly), embrace, and hold hands in front of our children often. I agree though that we don’t want to encourage the idea of dating at young ages. My hope is that my children wait until college age plus when they’re ready to make commitments to date seriously. Interesting read, definitely gave me some food for thought.

  3. Wonderful article it’s so hard raising girls especially in this day and age with so much influence from social media to tv and but, this is a good reminder and helps with perspective

  4. Thank you for this post. I have 3 girls, aged 3-10 and we are beginning to have to have some talks. I have never liked when parents encourage little kids to have boyfriend/girlfriends, and we have openly discussed this with our kids. Kids are so vulnerable and its so important to cover them in prayer.

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