There’s absolutely no one that can know and understand a daughter like the parents especially the mother. But how many times have you as daughters felt misunderstood while growing up? So many times I dare say. Some people reading this are daughters, mothers, or mothers to be, so what can we do better? I have a few pointers that can help you better understand your daughters and help foster a more healthy relationship.
I believe as parents, you know your children are unique beings, but you often forget this knowledge when you deal with situations that pertain to them. For you to understand your daughters better, you have to bring this knowledge to the forefront when you deal with issues that pertain to your daughters. Even before they were conceived, God has already determined your daughter’s potentials, it is now your duty to help them discover, harness, and develop such potentials as soon as now. These potentials are super easy to spot. You will see it in their temperament, interest, attitude, character, and gifts. Each of your children is unique in their own way because no two children are the same so you cannot afford to treat your children the same way. Even twins born almost at the same time, no matter how identical, are always different and so cannot be treated the same way, let alone siblings. My first daughter is super calm, the pretty after her, not as calm, the pretty after her, is also very calm and the last girl is not so calm. I will be setting myself up for failure if I fail to recognize this and handle them accordingly. Care needs to be taken especially with the girl child. Most parents want to use the same yardstick they used with the first daughter to raise other siblings and then it becomes an issue especially if that child was a very peaceful and responsible child. You must love your daughters unconditionally but develop them individually. You may have some super easy to raise while others are a little challenging to raise. Get to know who they are, what they love, what they are good at, what makes them smile, What comes to them easily with little or no effort, what they succeed at, how they behave when they are alone, how they cope with change, who their friends are, what they discuss together, the choices they make and so much more. Once you are able to find what your daughter’s potentials are and you truly know who they are then you are already a step ahead in understanding her better.
Parents, you can never get to understand your other children if you have a favorite among siblings. And trust me they always know, no matter how much you try to hide it. So the best way here is to never ever have a favorite. Treat them all equally and peace will reign.
BRING THE PAST FORWARD
Remember how you felt misunderstood sometimes while growing up? Think about those issues and what led to them then try to relate such experiences with the present and you will be amazed at how you will see such issues in a different light. Most especially the teenage years. A lot of parents have issues with their teenage daughters during this time but it doesn’t have to be so. Share your experiences during your teenage years with your teenage daughter, how you also felt misunderstood (if you were) and how you want them to make better choices so they can have a smooth transition to womanhood. Children learn better from shared experiences so don’t hesitate to share yours with them. It is great if you had a smooth transition yourself with less drama but it will be even more beneficial to them if you had it rough and do not want them to have it rough as well. So dig deep and allow your girls to learn better, to pave way for a deeper healthy relationship and better understanding.
DISCOVERED IDENTITY AND VOICE
Help your daughters to discover their own identity. It is no surprise that you most times have your minds made upon what you want your children to be when they grow up, where they marry from, schools they go to, and more. (at least that was the norm while I was growing up. But you can absolutely do better by shifting your mindset from the norm. You need to start listening to what your children value, what they need as it relates to their potentials and unique abilities, and what they fear. Do not force them to try to go the way you wish you had gone, you can only encourage them by sharing your stories with them, and if they are destined to follow that path then they will. Steer them in the right direction to discover their own identity and voice and then be their greatest supporter and number one fan. [click_to_tweet tweet=”Understanding is inevitable when you allow your daughters to blossom naturally and help them to discover their identity and voice.” quote=”Understanding is inevitable when you allow your daughters to blossom naturally and help them to discover their identity and voice.” theme=”style2″]
THEY ARE YOUR FUTURE
Your children are your future and the future of the world at large, so you must be careful about how you raise them. When you begin to see them as your future then you will invest more time, resources, and prayers in your daughters. If it means putting your own dreams on hold for a little while, then do it, you will never regret it. Remember if the foundation is not well-laid, no matter what you build on it, it will come crashing down. So, get the foundation right and the rest will fall in place.
Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
Now when the proper training has been taken care of, understanding your daughter will ensue as you will both be on the same page. It is never complicated raising a girl child like some claim, you just need to do it right and start early too.
Understanding is sympathetically being aware of other people’s feelings, tolerant and forgiving, according to the dictionary.
A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take. Unknown
Dad and Mom, you are doing a fantastic job!
18 Responses on this post
Lovely post.Totally agree, we are all unique, different and special in our own way,
Really great suggestions every parent should think about.
Thank you, these are very important tips
Great post! Important topic! Communication is key.
Great article. Good reminder to us all that they are their own people and deserve respect and understanding.
Love these thoughts – raising our kids is such an important job, and we need to be mindful of how we are doing it!
Daughters are indeed unique creatures! Beautifully written advice.
These are some things I really needed to hear. I have an 8 year old that I’ve been struggling with, I’m going to put these thoughts into play.
It’s so important to embrace the uniqueness of each child. Each of my children need to be parented in different ways.
I don’t have a daughter but I can see how this would apply to my relationship with my mom.
Some great thoughts here. Yes, I agree, so important to remember that each child is unique. Thanks for posting!
These are some great points. I especially love that you mentioned trying to remember how we felt as the daughter. It’s a great way to have empathy.
Great post, great focus! I love that verse from Proverbs, too.
This is such an interesting post! My mother and I do not speak, and part of it is because she refused to budge on the type of relationship she wanted with me. She wanted the typical Lorelei & Rory Gilmore relationship and I…absolutely did not. But everything had to be on her terms. Thanks for sharing and training the next generation of mothers and family women. It’ll help!
Great thoughts! It is such an important relationship. I so love seeing my daughters grow.
Great tips! My daughter is only 4 but we have a great, adult like connection. She also makes me laugh. I hope to continue to nurture that relationship eve in her teenage years 😉
need to share this with my mom 😉
Beautifully written post, and so easy to relate to…especially since I have two daughters myself! 🙂