Back To School Or Bullying?

Back to school season is here and we are all getting ready to send our lovelies back to school with all their school supplies intact, backpacks, school Uniform or beautiful and clean outfits for those who do not wear uniforms, clean socks and tights, pretty shoes and the list goes on. But while all the above are great and I am also getting set here. Can we please take the time to work on our children’s attitude and character before we send them back to school, in respect to BULLYING.

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'Bullies are human beings and they come out of our homes.' Click To Tweet“Bullies are human beings and they come out of our homes.”

Bullying is a forceful and hostile behavior towards someone or group of people, where that person or group of people are emotionally and physically attacked repeatedly. Bullying can be carried out by an adult or kids. In this case, we are going to explore the kids kind of bullying. For kids, bullying involves,

  1. Forming cliques and not allowing others near or to join.
  2. Issuing threats.
  3. Verbal abuse.
  4. physical abuse.
  5. Blackmail.
  6. Knocking someone down on purpose.
  7. Laughing at or teasing others because, for some reason, you think you are better than them.

Bullies are a human being that comes out of a home. Meaning they might be coming out of your houses. A lot of children have taken their own life and slipped into depression because of bullying. My eight-year-old daughter enrolled for summer school and as I dropped her off and walked her to the class, we saw a girl who is her grade mate but in a different class walk past us. Immediately her countenance changed and while trying to tell me she doesn’t want to stay, tears started rolling down her face, my heart was torn into a million pieces at that moment even though I could not put the puzzle together. I walked her back to the car, wiped her eyes and allowed her to calm down before asking her what happened. She later said the girl has teased and laughed at her continuously and she told her to stop but she wouldn’t. I told her the girl must be envious about something in her and that she is not a happy child and wants her to be unhappy too. I asked if she will feel better if l speak to her teacher about it and she said yes. I spoke to her teacher, who in turn handled the situation well by calling the girl to order and my daughter had a wonderful 4 weeks summer class and was even beginning to go for another week. Can this be avoided? Absolutely. Please make sure your child is not part of the contributor to this menace in our society. This can be done by

  • Carrying out research about bullying, so you can recognize the signs when you see them and address them in your children.
  • Mirroring good behavior and attitude to our children because we are their role model. They want to grow up and be like us.
  • Show them, unconditional love. they will only be able to give what they have. A child that does not have love will have none to give to others. Bullies are unhappy and the act is what brings the happiness. So show them love so they can be happy children.
  • Choose your words carefully, no matter how upset you are.  Negative words for some reason I don’t know sticks faster to a child’s memory than the positive words does.  A child that keeps hearing ” you are lazy”, will go to school and at any given opportunity call others lazy.
  • Teach them kindness by showing them how to be kind and telling them what kindness is not when you see them do otherwise
  • Do not allow sibling rivalry.  Kids will sometimes fight and fall out, but don’t allow it to degenerate into them getting physical. When they get used to hitting one another, it becomes natural to do it to others outside of the home.
  • Find out about who your children associate with and who they call a friend. Dissuade them from being friends with bullies because before long, they will become one too.
  • Teach them to respect other people’s feeling by thinking before they talk, to avoid speaking hurtful and mean words.
  • Ensuring your child gets the needed amount of sleep and food, so we are not sending sleep deprived, hungry and cranky children to school.
  • Ask them a specific question about how their day went. Not, how was your day? You will always get good or fine.  Instead, Ask what happened during recess? who did you sit with today in class? Such open-ended question will help them remember to tell you all the details you are looking for. And don’t be too busy, to find time to have this kind of conversation.
  • Sit them down at least once a week telling them about bullying with example and to avoid being one.
  • Not making your kids feel that their happiness is dependent on the straight A’s and good grades because automatically the best students in class become a sworn enemy and target of bullying.
  • Let them know God created all the races and people in the world, so we are all the same even though we look different.

We need to be intentional about the way we raise our children. Intentional parenting is recognizing the type of character you want your child to have. How they relate and treat other people, whether you are with them or not. Parenting with purpose and not out of feeling. We should raise them up bearing in mind that they go out to mix with other children, so we cannot afford to ignore their bad attitudes, the use of abusive words or not up to par character. For this very reason, I say it all the time, that parenting is not easy.  Listen to them when they converse with their siblings or friends and correct them immediately when they use inappropriate words or phrases, shove or push each other around, hurt other people’s feeling with their verbal or non-verbal cues.  It’s not just enough to have a child, we need to teach them patience, love, kindness, respect and to be considerate. Let us not assume that they should know these things or that they will be taught in school. It is our duty to train our children.

One thing to take note of is children will always be children. Meaning they will test the waters (by doing the exact opposite of what you’ve told them not to do) challenge your authority, ask countless questions, be allowed to play without stopping and so much more. We as the parent, however, know better and should guide them so, because it is very convenient and easy to look away. We need to be on our toes to make sure that children that step out of our homes are well-trained, cultured and well-rounded children.

This summer break, the most important preparation for back to school is the intentional parenting of children to make sure they do not return back to school as bullies. Click To Tweet

When this has been dealt with, let’s get back to our shopping for classroom school supplies, shall we?

Classroom supply for Sixth to Eight grade;

Classroom supplies for third to fifth grade;

Classroom supplies for first to second grade;

kindergarten classroom supplies;

Back to school essential supplies kit bundle K – 8

Happy shopping and preparation. I have no doubt there will be so many changed kids returning to school this season. They will be kids we will be absolutely proud of any day.

59 Responses on this post

  1. Perfect timing as parents & kids get ready for ‘back to school’. You make great points. We cannot forget to keep our eyes on our own kids to make sure that they don’t fall into the art of becoming a bully without realizing it.

  2. I never really dealt with bullying when I was a kid and what I did come across, I faced head on all by myself without a timid bone in my body. However, I did watch my sister go through years of bullying of multiple forms. Now that I have kids of my own, I’m terrified for them to be bullied not just because I don’t want them to go through it, but also because I’m afraid of failing them and not being able to appropriately help them. This article is a great insight on how to prepare for the day that bullying may enter our home. Thank you for posting this!

    1. I appreciate you take on this Kristen. It’s really eating deeper into our system and the earlier we cub it the better for us.

  3. One thing I really need to do is talk to my kids about how to be nice to new kids. We live in an expat world and kids come and go all the time. Its hard to be the new kid and I want to teach them to be kind.

  4. What an informative post! I thankfully was never bullied but I remember in high school how there were kids who were picked on so mercilessly they had to switch schools. Bullying is now very social media based meaning it follows kids to their homes x

  5. This is definitely one of those things I worry about raising children these days- both having a child that is bullied and finding out my child is the bully. I’m hoping neither of these things happen, but you’ve got some great info here if It ever does!

  6. These are great suggestions. I like that the focus is on the parent and child and not just the teacher or school. We all have to work together to solve these issues.

  7. These are excellent reminders of how to raise our children to be kind and compassionate of others. I would agree that kindness is more important than good grades.

  8. I wish all parents cared as much as you do about intentional parenting. It’s hard to forget sometimes that bullies are most often the ones in need of the most help. Very sad 😦

  9. Perfect timing for this great article it’s a great reminder to chat with our kids
    Hate seeing it start so young

  10. When I see a social situation that doesn’t look right, I point it out to my daughter so we can discuss it and use it as a learning experience. Asking her how she would have handled the situation gives us a chance to role play good behavior.

  11. Such a great article on a very important topic! When I taught second grade I saw way too much bullying at such a young age. It’s sad that so many parents look the other way, and think their children can do no wrong. I definitely believe all parents should talk to their children about bullying.

  12. Thanks for sharing.

    Bullying is one thing we might not take note of quickly especially if our children are the ones being the bully. It’s very important to teach our kids to love one another and to do to others as they would like to be dealt with. Our children need to be taught that new comers already have a lot going through their minds. Being friendly with them helps the transition for them and helps ease them settling.
    We also need to let our children know that their light never shines brighter by putting others off. But they shine brighter when they help others to shine as well.

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