Confidence is a key ingredient needed to succeed in life. Nobody wants to relate or associate with a low life or someone with low self-esteem. Many grownups had their self-esteem trampled from a very young age, the more reason we need to start working on our children’s self-esteem from a tender age.
- God’s love: Tell them about God and how much he loves them. He demonstrated his love for us by shedding his blood on the cross of Calvary to wash away our sins. There’s no greater love than this. When you know God loves you no matter what, your confidence level shoots up.
- Self-love: let us teach our girls to love themselves first, after which they can love others. You can only give what you have. I tell my girls to look in the mirror and say to their image, they are “beautifully and wonderfully made by God”. When my daughter comes to me and says someone said something mean to her, I asked her if what she heard was true and she replied in the negative. Then I tell her why bother yourself about what you know it’s not true? For instance, if someone says to you, you are ugly, but you already know you are beautiful, so laugh out loud because the joke is on them. And we all begin to laugh. We cannot overemphasize the need for self-love to our girls because it is the bedrock of a lot more. Accept who you are and be true to yourself.
- Choose your words carefully: Be careful with the words you use on your girls, especially when they have pushed you to the wall ( they are very good at that). Let the words we say to them be words that will lift them up and not put them down. This is important because they believe whatever we say to them is true. For instance, if we keep calling them stupid, they believe it and begin to act like one. What we say to them is very important in shaping who they become. When they do not measure up to the standard we set for them, urge them with your words to help them restrategize. I urge you to use positive words on your kids even when you don’t like it. Words like, you are extremely beautiful, I believe in you and what you can do, you are too smart, you are simply exceptional, you are blessed and highly favored, you are a genius, and so much more. Even when the opposite is clear in them, we are calling those things which be not as though they were in their life. And when these ensues, you begin to see them bloom and blossom into what we wish for them.
- Stop imposing specific careers on your children. Allow them to Choose their career path, so they can be confident in what they believe they are good at. We should, however, support them with our prayers for direction and words of encouragement always. I believe our prayers for them even before they were born will not allow them to choose wrongly or go astray.
- Sports is another confidence booster. Let us try to get them into sports of their interest and always be their biggest cheerleader and watch them bloom.
Give your children the chance to be independent enough to do things by themselves. Challenge them with new tasks at their early age. It’s amazing how fast they learn. My one year old feels so happy when I take off her clothes during bathtime and I allow her to put the dirty clothes in the laundry bag, the smile and joy that comes from doing that (as simple as it is), is priceless.
Almost all the above mentioned are also applicable to women struggling with confidence issues. Continue to work on yourself with the help of God you will achieve your purpose.
Let us continue to do the good work we are doing in raising Godly confident girls, cause in due time we shall begin to see the seeds sown begin to germinate.