The new year is around the corner and I feel this is a good time to re-evaluate our goals in raising the girl child. Most of us already have goals set out to help guide us daily ( just because it’s a continuous process) in bringing up our daughters, but having those goals in mind is not enough. I want this post to encourage us to take it further by writing these goals down and placing it where you can see it every day so it will serve as a reminder to making it work and most importantly discuss them with your daughters, making sure they have their own copy.
I don’t know about you but it will be very fulfilling for me after all is said and done,if I am able to raise a girl who is able to go through childhood, tween, teen and adulthood in a smooth transition and well able to take on the world with or without us (mom and dad) by her side.
Remember, for every good thing that needs to be accomplished, you must have a vision, then make it plain by writing it down. I know having a defined goal of raising our daughters may not have crossed some minds but it’s never too late. No more assuming that because you a good, morally upright, a child of the almighty God, a kind-hearted parent…………. your child will automatically be all of that. No! Parenting is not an easy task, in fact, one of the most difficult if you ask me, but with God, it can be accomplished. So, it is time to get that vision for your girls and other children going as soon as now. Why? Vision will give their life direction and help them live a focused life that will help translate them into dependable adults.
One of the major goals I set for my girls this year is RESPECT. Walking past people both young and old without any form of greeting is unacceptable. Giving up your seat for an adult to use when every other seat occupied is always the right thing to do. When your friend wants to have alone time, always respect their wish. I know you tend to get carried away with seeing your friends and exchanging pleasantries but also remember to look out for the adults in the room and acknowledge their presence too……. We talked about this topic over and over and checked how they did at the end of most weeks. It was a gradual process, but they are a lot better than when the year started. Even the toddlers are doing awesome just because they see the older ones doing it. This is just an example of what our goal consists of and just imagine not speaking to them about it but expecting them to do it, that is not always the best. Write the goals down in simple terms as much as possible so they can easily understand.
And to help your goals gain better ground are the everyday activities we chose to do with them.
♣ Study the bible and pray together as a family.
The bible says Thy word have I hid in my heart that I may not sin against thee.
so start getting that word in their heart and choose a convenient time to do it. Close to this is to take them to the church activities with you. Remember they can only give what they have. So get them well grounded in God early.
♣ Eat together as a family as often as every day. It helps to foster unity in the family and sends a deeper feeling of love and affection to them.
♣ Listen to them with 100 percent attention, believe in them and what they can do.
♣ Show interest in their school work by making time to go over their classwork and homework. Read books to them and ask them questions about the books you read to make sure they understand.
♣ When you send them on errands or instruct them to do something, always ask them to repeat what you said to be sure they understand.
♣ Give them chores that are relative to their age to do within the home, it teaches them to take responsibility and before long it becomes a part of them. Start them as early as they can walk and watch them work wonders. My twenty-month-old baby can do so many things by herself and she doesn’t stop to amaze me.
♣ Create a special fun talk time with them at least once a week like over a tea party where you can discuss character traits and attitude and your written goals/vision for them. Whatever you choose to do, make it a fun time that they can always look forward to.
It is amazing to see what can be achieved with our intentional parenting. One of the benefits of these goals is that you can turn them into prayer points for each child either on days you set aside to pray for them or every day. What works for me is their day of birth. My first daughter’s birthday is 20th, so every 20th of every month is the day I choose to pray specifically for her.
Once you begin to notice the set goals are yielding positive results, use whichever reward system that works for you. Reward their hard work and positivity and they will continue to work harder at being obedient.
Keep up the good work moms and dads. I’m always here rooting for you.
4 Responses on this post
Bola, as always, your advice is spot on and actionable! The world would be a better place if all children were fortunate enough to be raised this way! What a blessing you and your blog are!
I’m so glad to hear that Sharon. Thank you so much.
I love this article! Like you said, being a parent is hard work!!! It’s not just about making sure they survive until adulthood, it is about making sure they thrive in life long after we are gone. Creating goals with and for our girls is important and I love that you mentioned respect as being a goal. We are working with our daughter to order her food properly at a restaurant – make eye contact with the waiter/waitress, say please, and then thank you after your item arrives. It’s sometimes the small things 🙂
So true Tara. It lies in the small things now but can easily degenerate to something big later. Thanks for sharing with us.