It’s another father’s day on Sunday, June 18th. No better time to appreciate our fathers. Fathers remain a great force in every girl’s life. We look up to our fathers in so many ways and they do not even know it. 90 percent of my attitude, beliefs, disposition, and physic came from my dad. I am an absolute daddy’s girl. Most of my childhood memories also have my daddy imprinted all over it. No doubt after 2 years I still haven’t recovered fully from his demise. He was a father indeed not just by word of mouth or title. Anyone can be a father but not everyone can be a dad. A father is part of the people who come together to form a child. A dad, however, devotes his time, money, influence and intellect in raising a child. Any man can father a child, but so much more responsibility to being a dad to your daughter. Fathers who defy all norms to get down on all fours with their girls.
A girl always believes and wants her dad to be her first love, but how many of our fathers are stepping up to their responsibility of raising a well-rounded, emotionally stable daughters. How often do you sit them down to ask how they are coping in school, their challenges, hopes, dreams, aspirations. Giving bits of advice wherever necessary but not judging them. What of those spontaneous scooping them up (that resembles sweeping them off their feet), swinging them up in the sky, making them feel on top of the world? Do you tickle them and wrestle with them. The laughter, giggling and the twinkle in their eyes will be there for days to come and the memory permanently imprinted in their hearts. Mothers naturally want to protect their girls but fathers help to push their limit a little further. As much as it is important for the father to provide for the family, it should not end there. Father should strive to bond with their daughters, tell them the tactics boys use and how to handle them when they begin to come. You may be living together with your children and still be absent in their lives. A father’s involvement in a girl’s life can help boost her confidence, increase her self-esteem and prepare her to face the world.
My dad is dead, but I still feel him so strongly, he still inspires and motivates me, I love him and miss him dearly. I learned a lot from my dad but the greatest is contentment. Every time, I send a word of prayer up for him because much of the ills in the world today stems from a lack of contentment and selfishness.
Fathers have so many expectations of their girls but what are doing to help make such expectations realistic?
WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR FATHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP:
- Fathers talk to your girls. Do not assume that they were taught by their mothers or the school. God has made you the head, and your daughters see you as the head, so be the head. Be stern but, be loving also. Discuss God, boys, sex, alcohol, drugs and much more with them. sometimes they just want to hear theses things from you to validates what they learned from their mother, school, church or friends. You should only expect a child to turn out a certain way if you played your part in steering in that direction. An example is asking your child, why she spoke in a rude way but you never for once taught the child to not speak rudely to an adult.
- Fathers date your daughters. Take them out on a date regularly. not necessarily money involving date. Take them out on a stroll, teach them to ride their bikes or watch them do it, help them to pack their hair, teach them sports, read a book with them, cook with them, play board games and so much more. Get involved in their life. One of the benefits of these is, they will grow knowing a male figure cares for them and when the boys start to trick them with all of these dating activities, it will not intimidate but keep them on track because it would not seem new or strange to them. so Dads get dating.
- Fathers speak to your daughters with respect and love. Yes, we know you are the head but please say please, thank you and sorry to your girls. It teaches them to respect other people and to not accept anything less from whoever they decide to spend the rest of their life with. It also impacts on their self-esteem and confidence positively.
- Fathers don’t overindulge your girls. It is obvious you love your girls’ dad but please don’t cater to all their whims and demands. They are kids and they would always want new things. Use their demands to teach them about contentment. Teach them to have satisfaction with what they have. Drive them around town to show them different shelters and people living on the street, to help them appreciate better what they have. It might even prompt them to want to give out some of their stuff next time you visit the less privileged ones.
- Fathers make time to follow-up on your girl’s education. Even if it is once you can do this in a school year, please do make an effort. My dad was the only one that attended all my school functions as a child even though my mom was a homemaker. And those are the sweet memories I still have with me till now. One of such memories was when my dad came to see me do match past during my school’s sports day. He came with brand new white sneakers. I was extremely happy to see him and for the new gift grateful because he told me earlier in the morning that he may not make it, which dampened my spirit the entire morning. We know it’s not easy but it’s achievable.
- Fathers lead by example. All children learn faster by what they see and not what we say most of the time. They are watching your every move, they know when what you are teaching them contradicts with what you do. you are their hero, therefore act like one.
- fathers pray for your daughters. Every day say a word of prayer for your child and prophesy good things to their life. When you say thank you to them for performing a task for you, add a word of prayer like: you are blessed, you will excel and much more.
- Fathers complement your daughters. Tell them how beautiful they are, how smart, how pretty, how radiant, how lovely and the list goes on. When they are used to hearing this from you, they will not crave it from someone else or be lured into immoral acts by sweet words.
- Fathers believe in your daughters. Tell them you believe in them and what they can do and show this by supporting their dreams and aspirations.
For fathers that are pulling their weight and making their presence felt, we say kudos. For fathers that are not yet making a difference, we urge you to step into the role God has given you told and I’m positive you will be glad you did. Start off by talking with you daughters. Ask this question:
- What is that unforgettable thing I have done for you as your father? This question will help you know what makes your daughter happy or what’s important to her. Then gradually build on the question as it gives way to other questions.
Happy fathers day to all the wonderful fathers out there. Your daughters are super proud of you because you are their first love and hero.