Raising Girls

Game changer!

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Happy new year! If you are reading this, I’m so glad you made it to another promising year. The deal is to be hopeful that this new year will be way better than the year 2020 which was literally a dramatic year, to say the least. I know you are itching to know what the game-change is, right? So let’s get straight to it.

Since this is the second week of the year, our brain is in full gear and we are all setting new goals, making resolutions, and planning how the year 2021 will be better for us. Goals are very important as they are helping us to plan and put things in perspective. While I’m working on creating new goals with our daughters this year, we are currently reflecting on the goals for the previous year.

  • What goals did you have for last year?
  • Which of those goals did you crush?
  • Which of the goals you could not crush why?
  • What are the greatest lessons you learned in the year 2020?
  • What could you have done better?
  • What are the successes you made outside of your goals?
  • What was our greatest challenge in 2020?

Answering all these questions listed above will give you clarity on what worked or did not work and a boost in setting more concise, precise, smart – (Specific, Measurable. Attainable, realistic, timely), and achievable goals for this new year. This works for your personal, parenting, career, and business goals but also great for our girls as wellWhile this is one of the gamechanger for the new year, the major game-changer for me this year which incidentally is also my guiding word for the year is CONSISTENCY!

The word consistency will play out in diverse ways for me this year however I have been consistent in five very crucial things these past years.

  • My walk with God – One of my goals for last year is to be closer to God and to put God first in everything I do, just he instructed in his word in; Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need”. Matthew 6:33 Throughout last year I started my day with God and it was a deal-breaker for me. I felt super connected to God throughout my day, supercharged, and able to accomplish so much more. I look forward to growing more with God this year and in years to come.
  • My relationship with my husband. I invested a lot more time and attention in our relationship and we really grew our relationship better last year. It was an amazing time last year and I’m hoping for an even better year now and always.
  • Parenting – My relationship with my daughters. I was very consistent with my parenting last year and this is the major inspiration behind this post today. I need you to be consistent with your parenting this year as well.
  • Building relatioships and connections. Even though i am an introvert, i went out of my way and comfort zone to build lasting relationships and invest in those relationships. Even though I’m still learning and growing in this aspect, its been an awesome adventure so far.
  • My work – I’ve experienced exponential growth this year in my workplace because I have always been consistent and diligent.

Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men.

Proverbs 22:29

I however need to be consistent with my blog and businesses going forward. It has not been easy especially working full time but I’m drawing strength from God more than ever before this year to help me in these areas. I will do more prioritizing, delegating, and outsourcing to even make things run more smoothly.

I don’t know what you need to be more consistent on this year but I’m writing this blog post today to admonish you to be more consistent on our parenting this year. I understand and know how tough last year was on our children and even this year, as they are still having online classes and unable to go out as often as they use to. We sometimes feel guilty and try to compensate or overindulge them just to make them feel better but while this is normal let’s not get carried away and forget to guide them by parenting them the right way. You are allowed to discipline them and withhold privileges despite the challenges they are faced with now. They may not like or appreciate it but trust me, they will thank you later.

A few months ago, I discovered my eldest daughter was becoming so attached to her phone, chatting endlessly and on such long calls with her friends at age 11 years. Even though I felt for her considering the sudden change in their way of living and interracting, I was more concerned with the lifelong lesson she ought to be learning but she’s missing. So I sat her down and we talked about it at length. I concluded that she wasn’t ready to use a phone just yet. We took the phone away from her for months and she had a very good attitude throughout the time she was off the phone. She gave no attitude but choose to work on herself and now that she has got her phone back, she is more responsible with it and less attached to the phone. During the time she was off the phone, she fell in love with so many things like drawing, painting, in-depth reading, and researching. I’m thankful that I can still see her doing all those things even now that she has her phone back. Did she learn her lesson? Yes.

Let’s stop the guilt trip because it is one of the lies of the devil to distract us from fulfilling our purpose as parents. Looking back, there were times we felt that our parents were being mean to us. We hoofed and puffed but growing up, now we know better. We know now that it was love and we appreciate them for training and bringing us up the way they did. Always correct and train your daughters as well from a place of love and they will also grow to appreciate you. Never abuse or inflict undue punishment on them in the name of discipline. Examine your motive and weight your discipline strategies to make sure we are doing it God’s way.

Parents, let us remember our daughters will one day leave us to live by themselves, all the virtues we instill in them is what they will live with and share with others around them. I t is never too early or too late. Start now! What will your daughters be sharing with others? Will their character help the world be a better place or otherwise?

I'm a sold out lover of God, wife, mother and I'm passionate about women/girls and all we stand for.

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