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There’s nothing that scares the parent with daughters so much as underage or unwanted pregnancy. As scary as that sounds, it has happened before and will continue to happen if our daughters are not properly schooled on how their bodies work, how to handle boys and their advances and how the choices they make can affect their lives, either positively or negatively. Most parents want their daughters to focus on just being girls, growing up, getting educated and settling down, not make babies when they cannot care for one or themselves. With that said, what can we do as a parent, to avoid this menace that has robbed a lot of girls of their future?
- My topmost game plan is to raise a God-fearing daughter by bringing them up in the way of the lord. Why is this important? The Holy Bible is the Christian manual for living our lives. What we can do and cannot do is written in this special holy book. And so in there it says; Fornication is a sin. Fornication is having sexual intercourse with the opposite sex outside of marriage. What does this mean? Sex is good and acceptable when done within the confines of marriage. Now, we need to explain all these to our daughters especially when they reach the tween age (9 years) upwards. This is not a one time kind of talk but a constant kind of talk. We need to keep reminding them and most importantly pray for them. The bible says; Be sober, be vigilant because your adversary the devil goes about like a roaring lion, seeking whom to devour ( 1 Peter 5:8). Which means the devil is not resting so we cannot afford to rest as parents as well. Train up a child in the way of the lord and he will not depart from it. I even heard some parents give their teen girls protection for when they want to do the do!!!…….#deep breath……. Well, as for me the bible is my standard and nothing short of that.
- Teach them about their bodies. I know we have taught them but now is the time to go in-depth. Tell them how the reproductive system work and how pregnancies take place. It’s best to say it as it is because it will help our daughters to have a better understanding of how babies are formed and birthed. I remember while growing up, some of our parents told us when a boy touches you, you get pregnant immediately but of course, that never held water because it wasn’t true. We are not doing them a favor when we refuse to tell them these important things when necessary because guess what they will hear the wrong version or sugar-coated version from their friends and trust me you don’t want that to come first. If you need to do more extensive research on how the body works before you have the conversation, by all means, do. And of course most girls love the attention and pampering, so make it as fun as possible.
- They need to know how to deal with boys and their advances because loads of that will definitely come, so the earlier we prepare them the better. Give them different scenarios of how boys can approach them. How they will tease them to get their attention, give them gifts to lure them, try to kiss or hold them, ask them out, bully them or be extremely nice to them. When we expose them to all the possible scenarios, they will be well prepared and equipped to handle the situation when it truly occurs. This kind of conversation will also help them to know the genuine ones they can be friends with. Another benefit of having these conversations with them is it gives them the assurance that you trust them to handle boys.
- Tell them what peer pressure can do. It can either make or mar them, so they must choose their friends wisely. A bad friend would always want you on their side so also a good friend. Teach them to politely turn down friendships that are negative and unhealthy. I have heard true-life stories of girls that ended up with unwanted pregnancies and it all started with moving with friends with bad influence. They will tell them that having a boyfriend is a must and how they cannot be friends with them if they do not have a boyfriend or agree to start dating. Ask them about their friends, the home they came from, the kind of discussion they have and advise them accordingly. And of course, make sure your daughter is also not a bad friend to others. Yes, a lot of them pretend to be so good and harmless at home and around their parents but while alone by themselves they are totally different, so you may need to find ways to find out their true characters and address it immediately before it becomes their attitude.
- A good and high self-esteem will help your daughter to stand her ground when she gets unwanted advances. When your daughter has a low self-esteem, she feels invaluable and almost worthless and can fall into the hands and traps of her predators. So it very important to build your daughters self-esteem. We love the www.biglifejournal.com for all the various growth mindset materials that help in building our confidence and boost our self-esteem. Another good self-esteem booster is our when our girls speak life and positive affirmations to themselves. If you are yet to subscribe please do so you can get a free download for you and your daughter. It is simply magical. We need to continue to encourage them to see themselves for who they truly are and appreciate their unique personalities. Low self-esteem has destroyed a lot of girls so we need to stop it in its stride before more damage is done.
- The last thing is to show them movies and stories of young unmarried girls that ended up with unwanted pregnancies and even life-threatening diseases. Those images stick for a long time and will always come as a flash black to help straighten them out when necessary. Choose wisely by watching first, you don’t want to end up scaring them with extremely scary visuals, that is not the point. The point is for them to see how difficult it can be to care for children at that young age.
- Prayer is our best weapon as parents. Pray without ceasing and be specific in your prayers. If you notice something about your daughter, tell God exactly what you have noticed in prayer and trust him to right all wrongs.Click To Tweet Pray, pray and pray again.
Remember you are doing a fantastic job mom and dad!